


How Could I Have Known?

by spaghettideviant



Series: Vanished [2]
Category: Red Queen - Victoria Aveyard
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Book 1: Red Queen, Book 2: Glass Sword, Book 3: King's Cage, Book 4: War Storm, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-26 18:25:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15006725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaghettideviant/pseuds/spaghettideviant
Summary: Six months after Mare Barrow's disappearance, her family finally has some closure.Set after the first work in this series, We Don't Matter Anymore: an alternate ending to Victoria Aveyard's War Storm





	How Could I Have Known?

**Author's Note:**

> hi i am continuing this series  
> let me know what you think  
> sorry for any feels? haha
> 
>  
> 
> POV Cal

_ “Go. Be rid of him.” _

  
  


If I had known that the last time I saw Mare Barrow was when I pushed her to end my brother’s life, I would have held her longer. I would have told her how sorry I was for everything and how much I loved her.  _ How much I still love her. _

We decided against crowns.  _ No more crowns. _ No more kings for Norta. We would become a free government, like how things are run in Montfort. We would spend time rebuilding and working to change this place. She wasn’t around long enough to see that plan through to the end.

How could I have known how hard it would be to let Mare go?

Months have passed, and her family currently weeps before me.

Tuck Island is a lonely place. Horrifyingly quiet and depressing. A hollow shell of a place. I remember being here the last time. Lots of rain and smog. Not much has changed, except for the view in front of me.

The Barrows circle around a certain spot, and I glance over at Farley. We make eye contact before she continues to bounce her baby on her hip, and though she would never admit it, I can see the tears glistening in her blue eyes. She puts on a smile for little Clara, humming softly despite the weight of the situation before us.

Shade is buried here.

I can’t see his headstone through the crowd of Barrows,  but I know that it’s there. Daniel steps aside for a second, leaning off of his wife and standing with great difficulty. He gestures for me to join them, but I stay put, my feet firmly planted on the ground. He sighs, then nods to Bree, who lowers another headstone into the mud beside Shade’s.

This one, is for Mare.

They didn’t bury her, because there was no body. 

She didn’t leave anything behind, except for a bloody letter opener in Whitefire Palace.

I raise my hands to my cheek, wiping away a stray tear. I’m not sure why I’m crying. Unlike her family, I still refuse to believe she’s dead. They all stopped looking after six months, which was unfair of them. If Mare was dead, I would feel it. Something would feel wrong. I can’t voice my concerns to anyone. Not here, at least. I’ve tried to speak with Farley about it but she won’t hear it. 

Neither will Kilorn.

He stands with his arms around Gisa, letting her cry against his chest. Our eyes meet, too, and he gives me a respectful nod. I look away, not wanting anyone to know what I’m truly weeping for.

My tears are for Mare’s absence, not her death. I don’t know what I would do if she were really dead, but for now, I cry because I miss her. I don’t know where she went, but she could have at least taken me with her. She would have, right?

After everything we’ve been through, doesn’t she still love me? Have I read everything wrong? A chilling thought crosses my mind.  _ What if she left to get away from me? _

I have no idea where Maven went, either. No one here mourns for him.

Everyone, either from Monfort or part of the Scarlet Guard, blames my brother for Mare’s death.  _ She’s not dead, _ I want to scream.  _ She can’t be. _

Finally, the sight of Mare’s family becomes too much for me, and I turn and walk away briskly, back towards the makeshift base. I can feel all of their eyes on me, probably thinking that I can’t be around for the funeral for the girl I loved.  _ Still love. _ I just can’t be there to let them see that I don’t think she’s dead. They can believe the lie all they want, but I will not.

Approaching the base, I find Premier Davidson, sitting in a small chair by an even smaller fire. I plop myself into the seat next to him, huffing and continuing to wipe my flushed face. “Emotional night, this one,” He says, looking over at me through angled eyes.

I don’t respond, still wanting to convey my mourning. He sighs, staring at me until I meet his gaze, brow furrowed. “Yes, it is.” 

Davidson turns to look over the Barrows in the distance. “They’ll mourn for quite some time,” He turns back to me, raising an eyebrow. “But, you won’t, will you?” I blink at him, confused, and he continues. “I know you’re not stupid, Cal. You know she’s not dead.”

Slowly, I nod. “They’re not stupid,” I say, meaning her family.

He smiles. “Of course not, they’re just sad, is all.” He folds his arms, his gaze falling onto the flames in front of us. “Where do you think she went?”

“I have no idea,” I sigh again, lowering my voice to match his whisper. “My question is more…  _ why _ did she leave?”

Shrugging, Davidson lowers his voice even more, and I have to lean in to hear him over the crackling fire. “I’ve been in contact with someone.”

“Who?”

He reaches into the pocket of his jacket. “They haven’t signed a name, but they’re corresponding from somewhere in the Lakelands.” 

_ The Lakelands? _ I think, watching with wide eyes as he retrieves several scraps of paper.  _ Why would she be there? _

He smiles, placing the crumpled papers into my fist. “Right now, this person is serving as a spy. Apparently, it’s awful over there. Something about people trying to overthrow the queen in support of the idea of freedom.” He stands. “Return these to me when you’re done with them.” His smile fades as he disappears somewhere in the base, leaving me alone to watch the rest of the funeral.

The notes stay stuffed in the pocket of my pants until I am sure everyone is asleep, and I am in the safety of a small cot. I flick my wrist, bringing a small flame to my fingertip as I hold out one of the letters to read without being detected.

My heart skips a beat as I recognize Mare’s scribbly handwriting.

She’s not dead.

I knew it.

_ Davidson, _

_ Queen Cenra and Princess Iris are growing tired of their subjects trying to stand up to them, and have resorted to execution. Something we never thought they would do. Not here. As for your question, there are only two of us. We aren’t anywhere of any importance, or anywhere we would be caught. Do not worry. _

I sigh, sort of wishing I had copies of Davidson’s responses. But, Mare must have them there. She’s in the Lakelands. No wonder we couldn’t find her. I unfold the next note.

_ Davidson, _

_ My ally and I  continue to train every day. We are strong enough to defend ourselves. We are not afraid of a little water. Do not worry. _

They are all signed the same way, I realize. ‘Do not worry.’  _ Interesting. _

_ Davidson, _

_ We’re glad to hear of the progress your ranks are making to free the people of Norta. Focus on the slums. The Reds are detrimental to your success. Do not forget this. Queen Cenra is desperate, and has begun searching the forests for raiders and rebels. We must move soon, but we are equipped to handle anything she throws at us. Do not worry. _

One note left, and I am not excited to read it.

_ Davidson, _

_ We are leaving, and I cannot continue speaking with you this way. Not for now at least. I have a favor to ask of you. Do not respond to this note, I will have no way of receiving it once we are gone from this place. I trust that you will not let me down. I will write when I can, and we will do our very best to stay hidden. I will continue to work with you when I can. Someday I hope me and  my ally can come to Montfort and no longer live in these woods. Perhaps we will be able to, after you complete this favor. We will be fine. I will write soon. Do not worry. _

Where is the favor? Quickly, I flip the paper over, trying to find something. The other side only has Davidson’s name on it, and I stare at the paper, completely confused, before I realize. I hold the paper closer to the flame on my finger, seeing the outline of a secret message. My heart almost stops completely.

_ Give these notes to Cal. Ask him how he feels about this. _

How I feel about what? I stand from my bed quickly, stomping out of the room in search of Davidson before bumping into him, not seeing where he stood in my doorframe. He folds his arms. “How do you feel about this?” He asks, staring up at me.

I am still confused, racking my brain for what she could have meant. I blink, staying silent for several minutes and thinking of Mare as I remembered her.  _ Does she mean about her being alive? _ I think, scratching the back of my neck.  _ Or about her living in the woods surrounding the Lakelands? _

Feeling stupid, I realize what she meant.  _ Who  _ she meant. The ally she mentioned in her notes. She and my brother disappeared at the same time, and from her question, it’s not hard to connect the dots.

She chose him.

She let him live, and they escaped together.

Mare chose Maven over everything else.

Over being with her family.

Over helping us rebuild a better Norta.

_ Over being with me. _

I turn to Davidson, who nods slowly.

My head spins, and I vomit all over his shoes.


End file.
